Reconnecting after your baby’s arrival
It can be a real challenge to figure out how to build into your relationship with your partner now that your baby is here. With the arrival of your newborn came all kinds of amazing things -like seeing your partner cuddle your newborn (could your heart melt any further?). Unfortunately, your little person’s arrival also means things like personal time, schedules, and perhaps regular showers, have temporarily gone out the window. In this new stage of life, it is vital to continue to prioritize your connection with your partner. It takes creativity, intentionality and definitely a sense of humour.
- Be Intentional about connecting
When my first born was very little my husband and I would drop her off at my mother-in-laws once a week so we could have a date. I was nursing her, so it was never a very long date, but we would maximize that hour and half to reconnect. Because this was planned, we were able to be intentional about focusing on our relationship. That brief weekly date saw us through the first couple months where everything else revolved around the baby. I can’t say how helpful that was and would recommend to everyone to do something similar. My husband had my undivided attention in a way that wouldn’t have happened if I needed to keep an ear out for the baby monitor.
- Build into their love tank
If you haven’t read Gary Chapman’s The Five Love Languages, you need to. Chapman’s premise is that everyone speaks and receives love in five specific ways or “languages” (acts of service, words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, and gifts). He suggests that we speak one or two “love languages” better than others, and those languages mean more to us as well. For example, quality time is my primary love language. So for me to feel loved by my partner I need for him to be intentional about spending time with me. That makes me feel loved, and secure about our relationship. When you speak your partner’s language to them, you build into their love tank.
Curious to know your love language? Gary Chapman has a great quiz at
Like many things, your relationship will never be the same after baby’s arrival. Figuring out how to prioritize connection in this new stage takes creativity and intention. It can be easy to forget about building into your relationship when you’re taking care of baby. But a healthy relationship benefits your whole family and is worth investing in.
